February 2012
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Other things that I want to do in the near future...
Get a tattoo
Move out
Get a better job
Get a car
Fall in love again.
Things I want to do in the near future.
Cut my hair
Get contacts
Pierce my ears (for the 3rd time)
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I need a big change.
Something. Anything. I need to cut my hair short. I need piercings, a tattoo, contacts. From time to time I get the strong urge to change. It’s like I want to be reborn as someone different. Yet still me. I would dye my hair to satisfy the feeling, but I don’t want to dye it anymore. I need change. I don’t know why. Kinda scares me that I get the need to change myself. :\
VICTORY!
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I wish I had an amazing voice where I could just...
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Global And Regional Climate Change Midterm
I’m sitting here trying to study for a midterm. It’s an easy one. I’m a global climate change expert! Yay for majoring in geography. I’m listening to my iTunes while doing some last minute studying. I must say I made my iTunes pretty amazing after getting a Mac. So there’s a lot of songs that I love. But then a sad song came on. Sometime Around Midnight by The...
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“True love isn’t easy, but it must be fought for. Because once you find it,...”
– Prince Charming - Once Upon A Time Season 1 Episode 13
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I HATE RUTGERS PARKING.
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Heart to Heart
I had a heart to hear with someone recently. I shared a small part of my life. The part that I am ashamed of. I shared the story of the me who will never be again. She was understanding. It was nice. I’ve been beating myself over it a lot (but not so much anymore though). Other people kind of beat me up over it as well. She went through something though, something entirely different where...
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♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
L is for the way you look at me.
O is for the only one I see.
V is very, very extraordinary.
E is even more than anyone that you adore and
Love is all I can give to you.
Love is more than just a game for two.
Two in love can make it.
Take my heart and please don’t break it.
Love was made for me and you.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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I can't wait till Thursday!! Gahh~ ♥
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Let the people who matter in your life know how...
I think not telling them shows how much I care better than telling them.
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Valentine's Day
I am single. I have been for almost seven months now. I’m happy single, but I really don’t like seeing everyone so happy with who they love today. Not that I don’t like that they’re happy, it’s just… it’s like a whole day that shoves the fact that I’m single in my face like it’s a bad thing. It reminds me of when I wasn’t single and how I...
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Oh Livingston Campus, The Conflicted Feelings You...
Livingston was my home, is still my home. Most of my classes are on Livingston, and most of them will be on Livingston due to my major. There are so many bad memories here though. Don’t get me wrong there are some great ones, the bad ones just stick out more. I cried on my birthday here because of the asshole I was dating at the time. I lost my best friend here on this campus, and I lost...
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Out of Sight Out of Mind?
Maybe that would be for the best. Or maybe I should just suck it up and deal with. UGH even though I’m ok with everything I’d still rather not feel that little tiny ache.
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Weekly Goals
- Use more communication
- Put more effort into things.
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I'M SO HORRIBLE WITH TIME MANAGEMENT.
I have a homemade instrument project due tomorrow with a written history. The instrument is done, but not the history.
I have a quiz tomorrow about the history of two organizations. I’ve studied here and there, but not nearly enough. I feel that I am going to fail and I really don’t want to do that.
I don’t want to let my Pledge Brothers and Big Brother down.
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“I finally understood what true love meant. Love meant that you care for another...”
– Dear John
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I was different then.
This is why I am ok now. I am stronger. I have become a new me. The person you knew before, the person you had fallen in love with, was weak and no longer exists. This is the reason I have finally let go. What I was holding onto is something that was created by the old me who I do not trust. Not that what is was was a bad decision but whatever the old me had created, I simply can’t go back...
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“If I let myself care, all I feel is pain.”
– Stefan Salvatore - The Vampire Diaries; Season 3, Episode 14.
It's the right thing to do.
Thank you Big Brother for telling me no. I needed someone to tell me no. It’s the wrong thing to do. I would have been trampling on the new person I claim to be if I decided to go. It’s the right thing to not go… I feel so bad though. I really wanted to go. I want to go have fun with my friends. I want to get closer with them. They are all going, and they’re all going to...
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Things are :)
The people that are in my life now, I can tell we will grow to be amazing friends. I’m so glad I did all of this. This whole school year, granted I didn’t notice it right away, has been so amazing. Band is my life, I can’t believe I tried letting it go after high school. I can’t imagine not doing it. That’s going to be difficult to handle when I have to leave it...
I want to share my life story, but I am too...
Keeping Busy Is Working...
It’s all fading away.
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“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The secret of getting started...”
– Mark Twain (via creatingaquietmind)
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“Happy is he who has the maturity to say, ‘I was wrong.’ the audacity...”
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“Don’t call a girl obsessed when she’s just in love.”
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Very Unlady-Like, Yet Very Donna-Like
I walked home from the train station after school today. It felt great. I love weather like this. It makes me feel more… me. All day I’ve felt great, motivated even. In class today normally I don’t feel into it. Today I did. Walking home I realized (yet again because I’ve felt this way before), I really like being single. The world just feels different. There was a...
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“You can’t change your past, but you can let go and start your future.”
– Quinn Fabray - Glee
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The Things I Think Shouldn't Be Thought (And Yet I...
Right now I’m sitting in the Rutgers student center. Normally I’d be in class at this time, however due to missing a train it wasn’t worth going to my first class today. So I am sitting here, I have 2 hours until my next class. What am I doing? I’m obviously on tumblr and Facebook. I’m reading through some of the posts on tumblr and I just see the things I feel....
January 2012
4 posts
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The Difference Between Night And Day
During the day I am a much stronger person. I don’t know the reason for this, but I’m sure you, the reader, can somewhat relate. I feel more vulnerable at night. Things that I have hidden deep within me tend to come to the surface at night. It’s not a good thing. I feel weak, emotionally during the night hours. Kind of like I need someone to help me through the night. During the...
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What do I want?
A friend of mine recently asked this to me in a rather abrupt way. You see I’m in love with someone, and I can’t seem to fall out of love with them. I have tried so hard for the past half a year, with no progress. The only thing I can maybe say for sure that has gotten better is my ability to fool myself. I’ve been working at it for half a year because half a year ago was when I...
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So this is my brand new blog.
I’m a little sad because I want it to be my main one, but there’s no option to switch it, so it’s going to be annoying to post on this and navigate through customization options and other such things. But that is ok! I want a place where I can just write out my feelings, things I go through on a day to day basis, events, and more. I want to be true to myself. I don’t want...